The beveraged nature of Gap years and Gappies.

Howdy,

One other thing people seem rather more relaxed about out here is alcohol. I have lived in northern Ireland for the last 11 years of my life, a nation famous for its beverage consumption, but kiwis seem to do it both in more frequency and more heavily. I'm thinking about making a post in the next few weeks over what I consider to be the nature and motives behind excessive alcohol consumption (how fun), but for now I present you with a funny story of the weekend's antics.

Setting: New Zealand, Exam location at secondary school.

Conor finishes speech theory examinations.

Conor: (to Andrew and nick) Gee, I'm glad those are over. Chris and I will come watch you guys play rugby, and maybe drink some beers while doing so. After all, i did just finish generic excuse examinations!

Rugby match

Conor: Wow this is good rugby playing. I am also enjoying this chilled beverage.
Chris: I concur. The quality of rugby meets my high viewing standards and my beverage is also chilled. What a fine combination suitable for Zeus himself.

Back at flat

All: I cant believe we bought so much booze. May as well drink it.

4 hours later, back at rugby club

Conor: Whoa dude, you know so much about life and religion. You're amazing.
Dude: I know. I try my best. Let me buy you another beverage on top of the dozens you have already consumed.
Conor: "Sweet as"

In a bush outside, 30 mins later

Conor: Boooo!

Others: Conor, pray tell, why do you seem to have established residence in that bush?

Conor: Boooo! (trip, lies on pavement face down)

Others: Why, dear me, Conor seems to have experienced a rather healthy dose of fail.

Back at the flat

All: More drink!

In bar #2, after failure to make it into bar #1 due to inebriated status

Conor's female friends: Why hello there Conor. How do you feel this fine autumn's eve?

Conor: hehe, whooooOOooo, ugh (licks back of hands).

Conor's female friends: Perhaps we should return this fine gentleman to his place of residence. He appears to commenced snoozing upon the table and is also devilled by the drink of alcohol. (Conor gets driven home)

Outside bar #1

Andrew: woooOOOOooo (punches window) ooowwww (dribbles) ugh (hugs friend).

Friends: we should return him also to his abode. (Andrew gets driven home)

Flat, 1.30am:

All: Oh dear, the flat is locked.

Chris: I shall retrieve this caretaker! (retrieves "caretaker" from home, who is in fact a senior staff member)

Senior staff member: Oh dear, Andrew appears to have expelled vomitus into the hallway. I shall both clean it up and put this handsome man to bed.

Andrew: dribble. (Andrew gets put to bed after further vomitus in the shower)

Flat 3.30am:

Nick, Andrew and Hannah: We have arrived back home! Andrew did indeed come come out to meet is in town. Conor, how feel you?

Conor: Well enough my pals. I hear we have pizza in the fridge!

All: HUZZAH.

Fin

So there we are. A tale of life, love and mystery, presented through pretentious drama setting and incorrect grammar. I hope you enjoyed it, because I certainly payed the price for it the next morning.

Anyway, expect a few more updates in the next couple of weeks.

Peace out xoxo.

Old post unpublished from May:

Hello everybody.



I realise it has been ages since blog postage on my behalf, so here is a nice brief one to keep the habit up.



"The Host" is a South Korean monster movie. It is also, interestingly, remarkably good, and somewhat famous. If you have not watched it, i thoroughly suggest you do. It has evil scientists in it, comedy and a big monster that eats people. I personally find that combination very hard not to like, and while it sounds rather silly it manages to satirise the genre that it simultaneously masters. Srsly, check it out.



Separate/related note: There is nothing more infuriating than an erratic DVD player. SHAME on you SONY.



Who remembers nerds? The sweets? Well, I was amazed to find out that they still sell them here in New Zealand. Amazing/delicious. They were probably taken off the shelves back home because they were dangerous or something, but the kiwis don't seem too fussed. Then again, our car's handbrake does not work and it passed its warrant of fitness, so it would seem the nation is more relaxed about things more significant than sweets.

Anywhoo, cheerie-bye.

Simon, the great man himself.

Hello there :D.

Just a brief post to say that my good friend Simon Campbell, author of the fantasticly magical blog "thethinkingphrase" @ http://thethinkingphrase.blogspot.com/ and my personal inspiration to start blogging has kindly agreed to contribute to my blog and perhaps bring it up to the reasonably high standards expected of internet speak.

If you read anything of value on my blog, chances are you could go onto his and read an article on the same subject that is twice the quality (and four times the spelling, and I KNOW that doesn't make sense). So check it out... (especially his awesome reviews)

2 posts in one day! I'm on fire!

Cheers to Simon for the redecoration by the way. Very talented with that stuff.

Cheery-bye:

Conor.

ill informed opinion on swine flu and general musings on the relevance of the news.

Hello there.

I was quite amazed 2 days ago to find out that a boy who goes to the school where I work at has taken ill with swine flu. While he has been to America with the school band (who have since been quarantined), i was still quite amazed that he managed to come into contact with one of the (at the time of his visit) 200-300 people out of 303,824,640 who suffered from the disease. What is also interesting (and concerning) is that the other people have been quarantined as a result, and a few of them have started to show symptoms. The odds of this are quite mind boggling (less that 1,500 people have contracted the diesease worldwide), and it is quite the stark reminder that it is not merely a story to concern everyone else. Fortunately, the sufferers seem to be either recovering or handling the ailment well, so no concern there.

What is slightly more worrying is the realisation that the news does not merely apply to everyone else. At my age, some people (but by no means all) make the mistake of assuming that the unfortunate events reported in the news have no relevance to them, that they have no danger of interfering in their private, irrelevant lives. I was (and to be fair, probably still am) one of these people, but now the proximity of the flu has got me thinking. What if I have trouble getting home because of quarantine issues? Also, I assumed that when I returned home from my gap year that I would still have a job waiting for me at the local petrol station, but who's to say I won't be re-hired because of the depression?

I realise these thoughts have probably come to me a bit late (most people realise the news is relevant when they are 12 or so), but I just thought that was a bit interesting.

Look out for an opinion on the Spanish horror movie "REC" soon.

Conor.